Two to five years ago, if someone asked me if I was in love, my reaction would be to give one crazy look before laughing my ass off. Love wasn't just a foreign term, but also a distant feeling.
Toward my family, I feel obliged as a daughter to my dad and a big sister to my brother. Do I love them? Perhaps, but if there's another more suitable word, or feeling, to describe it, it would be responsibility. Having been the head of family for more than two years now, it is not a thing to be taken lightly.
Then, there are a number of ex-boyfriends, three to be exact: Rizman, Abang god-knows-who, Ano, and Sam - oh, four of them. Except for Sam, I don't remember having any special feelings toward the other three. Plus, being as young as I was, what the fuck would I know about love? Sam was a bit different from the rest because we lasted for two years in my important years, but I do not think it was love that got me hooked. Then he planned to get back with his ex-girlfriend (if they ever broke up at all), so that was that. Those guys, were definitely not my first loves.............. just some guys I went out with because at that age, everybody else I knew had a boyfriend, and I wanted one too.
When I was shot with the question "are you in love?" by a trainer who is an expert in psychology and mind-reading thingamajingy last week, I thought the question was bold, yet unsurprising. Not because it was immediate or obvious to see if I am really in love, neither it was because I was sure if I am really in love, but the fact that I had someone in mind when I was shot with the question made the question relevant.
This is the "pretty" drawing in question :B
"Why do you say so?" I asked indifferently, or rather, ashamedly, for there was a handsome colleague sitting right in front of me.
"Everything is in pair," said the trainer calmly, and smiling, with a cynical smirk on his face after seeing my 'what's-the-matter-with-you' looks.
"Well, I do have a so-called boyfriend," I said, almost matter-of-factly.
"It's not a question whether or not you have a boyfriend, but is the passion really burning now?" he asked.
I left his question unanswered, with a knowing grin.
- He paid all my deposits;
- He accompanied me to buy all the things for my room;
- He's generous
- He comes by so often to see me, knowing that I am alone most of the time;
- Being an aroused dick-head, I don't listen to anyone when I want to get things done, but he managed to tame me;
- He's good (don't ask where, when, why, what and how);
- Etc, etc.
Now tell me ladies, should I or should I not be in love with this guy?
You know it!
PS: But no, I don't think we ever end up happily ever after. It's kinda impossible.